Howdy from Down Under

Howdy mates!

I've been in Australia for almost a week now! I've been busy recovering from jet lag, trying not to drool on myself, and searching for an apartment--all at the same time. Multi-tasking.

Thus far I am loving the warm weather. Sorry, Kansas. I'm in shorts and a tank top as we speak. I feel somewhat malicious writing that...

While I'd like to offer a grand opening post, I'm afraid you'll have to deal with a bulleted list of observations. Look, I'm already developing laid back habits...oh well. No drama.

• The Australian accent has started sounding "normal" to me. This means I can actually understand what people are saying about 80% of the time. The rest of the time I'm baffled by completely unfamiliar terms and phrases like "ranga" (red-head, comes from orangutan), "no drama" (no worries), "boot" (car trunk), and "arvo" (afternoon). I'm constantly asking for translation. And I speak English.
  
• I've learned one basic rule of Aussie grammar: drop the ending and add "y." So breakfast is "brekky." Chicken parmigiana is "chicken parmy." Kindergarten is "kindy." This is not just spoken--this is actually written on signs. My spell checker is freaking out right now.
  
• Burger King is "Hungry Jack's" here. I had an Aussie burger from there the other day. It was basically a Whopper with beetroot (pickled beets) and a fried egg. Try this at your next barbie (barbecue)!
  
• There is white coffee, flat coffee, and all sorts of other crazy coffees I've never heard of in my java history. The other day I asked for an iced black coffee with no sugar and milk. The cashier looked baffled and a long discussion ensued regarding just what exactly I was going to drink. Thankfully a helpful Canadian worked there and was able to get it sorted. (See, that's another Aussie phrase...)
• I have become a shiny person. No, I'm not talking about my positive personality and happy outlook--I'm talking about the oil field formally known as my face. This is what happens when you are pale in a country with no ozone left.
  
• The ants here bite. They like fleshy bums. They do not like when fleshy bums sit on their ant trails. Their bites burn. Get the picture?
• I have managed to secure a room in a flat (apartment) that was not flooded, cockroach infested, moldy, or generally creepy. I also learned that one should not refer to someone as a "roommate," as that implies sharing a bed and/or bedroom. That explains why I got so many responses to my roommate queries...
• I have already been quizzed about Dorothy's status and her red shoes. My clever response is, "Oh, Dorothy whinges (complains) a lot. And Toto has fleas. I got tired of them and stole her red shoes. And I ended up here in the other Oz." (Those of you who saw my feet my last few nights in Manhattan know there is truth to the shoe story).
  
• I have not heard one person say "G'day mate!" in the course of a week. Before I left Kansas I was joking around with friend who had been in Australia, repeating the phrase with a jolly accent. They looked at me with a straight face and said, "Don't ever say that to an Australian. Ever." So, happily I have been spared the embarrassment.

So on that note, I'm going to wish you all g'day...er, cheers!

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