Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Howdy from Down Under

Howdy mates!

I've been in Australia for almost a week now! I've been busy recovering from jet lag, trying not to drool on myself, and searching for an apartment--all at the same time. Multi-tasking.

Thus far I am loving the warm weather. Sorry, Kansas. I'm in shorts and a tank top as we speak. I feel somewhat malicious writing that...

While I'd like to offer a grand opening post, I'm afraid you'll have to deal with a bulleted list of observations. Look, I'm already developing laid back habits...oh well. No drama.
  • The Australian accent has started sounding "normal" to me. This means I can actually understand what people are saying about 80% of the time. The rest of the time I'm baffled by completely unfamiliar terms and phrases like "ranga" (red-head, comes from orangutan), "no drama" (no worries), "boot" (car trunk), and "arvo" (afternoon). I'm constantly asking for translation. And I speak English.
  • I've learned one basic rule of Aussie grammar: drop the ending and add "y." So breakfast is "brekky." Chicken parmigiana is "chicken parmy." Kindergarten is "kindy." This is not just spoken--this is actually written on signs. My spell checker is freaking out right now.
  • Burger King is "Hungry Jack's" here. I had an Aussie burger from there the other day. It was basically a Whopper with beetroot (pickled beets) and a fried egg. Try this at your next barbie (barbecue)!
  • There is white coffee, flat coffee, and all sorts of other crazy coffees I've never heard of in my java history. The other day I asked for an iced black coffee with no sugar and milk. The cashier looked baffled and a long discussion ensued regarding just what exactly I was going to drink. Thankfully a helpful Canadian worked there and was able to get it sorted. (See, that's another Aussie phrase...)
  • I have become a shiny person. No, I'm not talking about my positive personality and happy outlook--I'm talking about the oil field formally known as my face. This is what happens when you are pale in a country with no ozone left.
  • The ants here bite. They like fleshy bums. They do not like when fleshy bums sit on their ant trails. Their bites burn. Get the picture?
  • I have managed to secure a room in a flat (apartment) that was not flooded, cockroach infested, moldy, or generally creepy. I also learned that one should not refer to someone as a "roommate," as that implies sharing a bed and/or bedroom. That explains why I got so many responses to my roommate queries...
  • I have already been quizzed about Dorothy's status and her red shoes. My clever response is, "Oh, Dorothy whinges (complains) a lot. And Toto has fleas. I got tired of them and stole her red shoes. And I ended up here in the other Oz." (Those of you who saw my feet my last few nights in Manhattan know there is truth to the shoe story).
  • I have not heard one person say "G'day mate!" in the course of a week. Before I left Kansas I was joking around with friend who had been in Australia, repeating the phrase with a jolly accent. They looked at me with a straight face and said, "Don't ever say that to an Australian. Ever." So, happily I have been spared the embarrassment.
So on that note, I'm going to wish you all g'day...er, cheers!

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9 comments:

  1. Glad you're settling in! Keep us posted!

    Naomi

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  2. I now have you in my Google reader. Look forward to many interesting posts.

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  3. Love the bullet points, especially the coffee and oil field one! Sign me up!

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  4. Wow! It's great to be at the premiere of a blog. (Especially one that made me laugh.) Looking forward to frequent posts.

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  5. For the ant bites, Chem 101. What burns is formic acid. Chemistry teaches us that acid+base= innocuous salt+water. Damp a cotton ball in ammoinia and apply to then bite ASAP. Pus the nice smell of ammonia will wake you up if you have had too much Foster's.
    How do you get a blog started? I ask you as an experienced blogger.
    Cheers,
    Benja

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  6. Hey Ranga,

    Welcome to Oz! Hilarious entry. I'm glad to see the ants are making you feel welcome. As you get further north into the tropics you'll find green ones whose bums you can lick for a citrus zest!

    Here's another basic grammar rule for ya - with names, drop most syllables after the first and add a "a" or "o". Sometimes there's a "z" thrown in for good measure too. Eg. Barry = Bazza, John = Jono, Caroline = Caz. Then there are those conversions that just defy any logic, e.g. Nicole = Nickers

    Lemme know when you're swinging by Syd. We'll have the chilled beers waiting xox

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  7. Just finishing up the day in the office... what a pleasure to read and laugh with you for a moment... keep it up!

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  8. Welcome to Oz.

    Another weird grammar thing that still makes no sense to me... They often add the word "the" to phrases that don't require an article (eg. "We're going to watch THE tennis today." )

    Other times they remove "the" when we'd normally use it. (e.g. "He was so sick he had to go to hospital." Where is the "the", right?

    This still doesn't make sense to me.

    Anyhow, drop me a line if you make it to Melbourne. Bring your sunnies and your cozzie and we'll fix up a barbie in the arvo for you.

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  9. Jeepers, Summer, it was -6 degrees in Kansas last week. You have been in my thoughts. Take care.

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